She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
