I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
