i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize