he shaved USA in his pubs
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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