Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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