Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
