I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
