well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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