You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
