I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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