the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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