Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
