I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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