Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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