What did we do last night that was yellow?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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