i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
