Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
