can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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