Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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