if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
