Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
