oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
