It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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