so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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