Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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