I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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