yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
