Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
