Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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