All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize