whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
