i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
