did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
