Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize