so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
