hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
