The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
