I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
