it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
