A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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