Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have aggressive nipples.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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