i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
