just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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