The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
