sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
