this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
