So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
