This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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