I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
