We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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