He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
