You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
