Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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