Sponge bath it is.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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