Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
