he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
