tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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