you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I believe in your delicious
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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