Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
