I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
