wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The beer is more important than you right now.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
