Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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