the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
