I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
