I just cut my nipple shaving
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I forget how to act sober
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
