put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
