16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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